{"id":366,"date":"2012-03-24T16:11:48","date_gmt":"2012-03-24T16:11:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lochnessmonster.co.uk\/blog\/?p=136"},"modified":"2022-12-28T17:37:52","modified_gmt":"2022-12-28T17:37:52","slug":"loch-ness-monster-professor-kettle-and-his-tea-pot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lochnessmonster.co.uk\/blog\/index.php\/2012\/03\/24\/loch-ness-monster-professor-kettle-and-his-tea-pot\/","title":{"rendered":"Loch Ness Monster &#8211; Professor Kettle and his tea pot"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>by Mikko on Sun 29 Aug 2010 10:55 BST<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>\n<figure id=\"attachment_7661\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-7661\" style=\"width: 194px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-7661\" src=\"https:\/\/lochnessmonster.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/profkettle-144x195-1.jpg\" alt=\"Professor Kettle Loch Ness Research\" width=\"194\" height=\"263\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-7661\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Professor Kettle Loch Ness Research<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Cryptozoologist, Professor Kettle, has spent a lifetime searching for elusive creatures \u2013 all previously unknown to science. From the Abominable Snowman to the Coelacanth he has travelled across the globe in an endless quest, which some less than generous souls have dubbed \u201chis silly and stupid obsession\u201d. However, the professor is very blas\u00e9 about his critics:<\/p><div id=\"lochn-842434065\" class=\"lochn-content lochn-entity-placement\"><script async src=\"\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3003812232025940\" crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><ins class=\"adsbygoogle\" style=\"display:block;\" data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-3003812232025940\" \ndata-ad-slot=\"\" \ndata-ad-format=\"auto\"><\/ins>\n<script> \n(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); \n<\/script>\n<\/div>\n<p><em> \u201cthey fall into two broad camps\u201d<\/em>, he said. <em>\u201cFirstly, the bone idle ones who can\u2019t be bothered to get out of a chair to do anything themselves. Secondly, the envious types who resent my unrivalled success tracking down evidence of cryptids \u2013 or \u201cunknown creatures \u2013 as the layman would call them.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Personally I consider myself a touch eccentric and quite frankly what other people think of me is their problem\u201d.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>At this point in our conversation the professor said he would like to introduce another member of his research team, Dr. Pott. It turns out that Pott\u2019s doctorate is in Applied Mathematical Environmental Research and he designs most of the unique and intricate pieces of equipment used to track down the unknown. <em>\u201cHe isn\u2019t exactly Scully from the X-Files in looks but he does a really good job\u201d<\/em> quips Kettle.<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Pott offers us tea and I start to tremble with anticipation. It\u2019s common knowledge within academe that if Professor Kettle respects your work then tea will be served in his unique Nessie shaped tea pot. If he thinks you are mediocre it comes as a tea bag in a mug; the whole thing is a kind of semaphore signal of success or failure.<\/p>\n<p>Well, the door creaked open and a decrepit and wisend old lady brought through the tea tray. And there it was! The real, unique Kettle owned Loch Ness Monster tea pot. I felt pure elation, such that I nearly collapsed. Bizarrely all I could think of was the TV series \u201cThe Sopranos\u201d and that this is how it must feel to be made a \u201cmade man\u201d by the mafia.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cSo this is the genuine Kettle\u2019s tea pot?\u201d<\/em> was all I managed to stutter; I was too awestruck to say more. <em>\u201cActually no\u201d<\/em>, said Professor Kettle. <em>&#8220;Dr. Pott originally pointed it out to me in an antiques shop in Forres and I bought it on the spot. But he saw it first so around here it is known as Pott\u2019s pot.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>No matter. I knew that whether it was Kettle\u2019s pot or Pott\u2019s pot I had received the scientific equivalent of a beatification and now I knew that my own academic papers would always be published in the best journals and one day I would stroll before a camera for the National Geographic Channel.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Mikko on Sun 29 Aug 2010 10:55 BST Cryptozoologist, Professor Kettle, has spent a lifetime searching for elusive creatures \u2013 all previously unknown to science. From the Abominable Snowman to the Coelacanth he has travelled across the globe in an endless quest, which some less than generous souls have dubbed \u201chis silly and stupid &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lochnessmonster.co.uk\/blog\/index.php\/2012\/03\/24\/loch-ness-monster-professor-kettle-and-his-tea-pot\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Loch Ness Monster &#8211; Professor Kettle and his tea pot&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-366","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 4.9.8 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"by Mikko on Sun 29 Aug 2010 10:55 BST Cryptozoologist, Professor Kettle, has spent a lifetime searching for elusive creatures \u2013 all previously unknown to science. 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