Worrying times for Nessie the Loch Ness Monster as avian H5N1 flu lands a few short miles away in France. Today we hear that they are butchering tens of
thousands of turkeys and yet no official action has been taken to stop visitors to Loch Ness throwing their unwanted chicken take-ways into the water or the much more serious problem of egg-baiting and raw chicken tossing that the area experiences (see previous blog entries below).
We call on the authorities here to impose a ban on these activities to preserve human health and to save Nessie’s life.
Scientific fact: An old dinosaur would be very vulnerable to flu from its close relatives alive today – the birds.
This is an odd one: Researchers at the loch have discovered that a high dietary consumption of eels is bad for plesiosaurs. Apparently Loch Ness does not provide a varied diet and so the question now is: How can Nessie survive for so many years when normal folk are knocked out by a much lower cholesterol intake?
The petition sent to the Queen by High Priest of Loch Ness, Kevin Carlyon is gathering support. He has requested that Nessie the Loch Ness Monster is given protection in law and a prominent local figure has now added backing to this campaign.
Nessie the Loch Ness Monster is looking for stories about the real goings on around her home in the 1970s and 80s. There have been a lot of very dodgy people up here over the years and there still are still some very dodgy and weird goings on. If you have anything juicy to tell us please let us know as we are actively collecting these things with a view to publication. Some of our little secrets will make your hair stand on end!
Nessie the Loch Ness Monster has been besieged lately by various hunters intent on blowing her out of the water, harpooning her or poisoning her home. To help her out, High Priest of White witches, Kevin Carlyon, has petitioned the queen and Tony Blair. You can read more about this gallant plan in The Press and Journal here.