Tourism in the Loch Ness area has plummeted sparking fear and outrage that the comprehensive attempt to debunk the existence of Nessie, its famous resident may be partly to blame. The BBC has discovered the slump.
Speaking exclusively to us from his scientific compound, Professor Kettle said, “I have been warning about the likely damage to our fragile rural economy – which is heavily dependant on tourism – by local and outside debunkers. Often these are people who seem embittered by the successes of research projects such as mine and their own inability to find definitive proof. People visiting the area should save their money by visiting the loch themselves, rather than having it “interpreted” for them in some expensive facility”.
Young Dr. Pott also added his view that it was time for the increasingly pointless “old timers” to step aside and let people with a less jaded and more positive approach to hunting for Nessie the Loch Ness Monster and other cryptids and cryptozoological beasts to enhance the area’s appeal.
“Families don’t travel here from other parts of the UK and beyond to see dusty old exhibits about plankton and microbes. They come for Nessie and it’s time The Highlands of Scotland Tourist Board wakes up and smells the coffee. Clapped out ideas and old rubbish abound here and aren’t up to scratch.”
The Tourist Board was unavailable for comment at time of going to press.
