Author: mikkoT

The research team at Loch Ness has discovered new bottom feeders in Loch Ness. The tiny microbes ingest sulphuric acid released from the thermal vents formed by the active Great Glen fault line.

“We are absolutely stunned by our new findings”, Professor Kettle told waiting reporters outside his Loch Ness Research project facility. “My colleague Dr. Pott will be taking further readings but it is clear that the microbes here are very similar to those found in South American volcanoes and surely proves beyond reasonable doubt that life exists on other moons and planets.

The Highlands of Scotland Tourist Board was unavailable for comment at time of going to press.

It seems that Nessie is not a great one for all the pomp and circumstance surrounding the queen’s royal flotilla. She kept her head down today and refused to make an appearance. There are very real concerns amongst Nessie researchers that she will be greatly affected by noisy fireworks in nearby Inverness but we are not unduly concerned as once it’s all over and something like reality returns Nessie will be back! She has, after all, survived a massive meteorite strike in the Jurassic era, multiple ice ages and two world wars. She’s tough!

There is tremendous speculation and chatter around Loch Ness as it has been announced that the enormous skeletal remains of a carnivorous dinosaur have been found in Beauly, Ross-shire.

“Beauly is only 10 miles or so from the village of Drumnadrochit on the shores of Loch Ness and the historic discovery of a beast like this – living and hunting nearby further proves that Nessie – the world famous monster – must exist”. We know that the village is full of old dinosaurs from a bygone age that still manage to stalk about causing trouble but this takes us back millions of years into an even more dog-eat-dog jurassic world.

You can read more about this staggering discovery in The Inverness Courier.

by Mikko on Sun 11 Mar 2012 11:33 GMT

Is this the world’s most expensive public loo? It certainly looks like it is Scotland’s!

Britain’s most remote public toilet is under construction on the island of Handa, which is uninhabited and lies within the inner Hebrides off the northwest coast of Sutherland.

Summer on the island sees in excess of 100,000 seabirds, including puffins, guillemots and razorbills. The new WC (or “restroom” – for our American friends) will feature a turf roof, be built from steel to withstand the weather and produce organic compost. It came at a cost of £50,000 but will cater for an amazing number of visitors – 6000 make the trip there each year to see the beautiful scenery and wildlife.

by Mikko on Tue 07 Feb 2012 10:42 GMT

Yup, the weather has been so wonderful here (touch wood) that while Heathrow Airport in London is shut down by ice and snow we were able to smoke the first rainbow trout in our smoke box in the garden! That’s the earliest start in a year ever!

We’ve kept back a small portion to take down the hill and feed to Nessie, our famous Loch Ness monster.

by Mikko on Sat 29 Oct 2011 18:46 BST

Yup, incredible temperatures continue and the MET office informs us that this is officially the UK’s seventh warmest October on record since records began! Nessie the Loch Ness Monster may well decide to sunbathe here so watch out for her on our live webcam.