Infected bird flu man arrives on French soil. We are all going to die!

Virus Protection

This website is calling upon the Loch Ness coastguard to enforce a ban on throwing chickens into Loch Ness and to take action to prevent “egg-baiting”, a common activity amongst visiting monster hunters.

An egg-baiter is a device constructed from wood, fishing line and lead shot. Several raw eggs in which small holes have been drilled are attached and the whole rig moored just off shore in the loch. The eggs float just below the service and slowly release their contents into the water,

No Raw Chickens in Loch Ness
No Raw Chickens in Loch Ness

attracting the plesiosaur and eel populations. 

Normally egg baiting presents no danger to Loch Ness or Nessie, her monster (although the lead shot has caused some concerns in the past) but the EU has just warned that raw eggs and chicken may pass on fatal avian H5N1 flu to humans and it is already known that dinosaurs are closely related to their avian cousins (see below).

These are very worrying times at Loch Ness and so far the authorities appear to have behaved appallingly slowly.

Bird Flu Arrives in Britain – everyone will die!

Saturday and they’ve just told us that an infected parrot has brought bird flu to the UK. Nessie the Loch Ness Monster is in big trouble now because dinosaurs are the ancestors of birds and therefore it won’t take much to infect her.

No Raw Chickens in Loch Ness
No Raw Chickens in Loch Ness

Steps have been taken to stop people throwing chickens into Loch Ness (a very common pastime enjoyed by many visitors to the area as they try to get Nessie to grab the bait) but wild birds are a much bigger problem.

We can only hope that the virus doesn’t spread this far north…

$1 million bounty for Nessie the Loch Ness monster is withdrawn!!!

This website is delighted to see that the bounty has now been withdrawn by the company that put up the money and the specific concerns we had about The Protection of Animals (Scotland) Act of 1912 and The Veterinary Surgeons Act 1966 have been taken into account.

It is important to keep protecting Nessie from the Desperate Dan Taylors (with their things like harpoon-equipped homespun submarines), the DNA seeking Nessie trappers (like Jan Sundberg) and anybody else in this world who may think a wild animal is just something to have a go at for fame and fortune.

Confusion abounds over $1 million “bounty” for Nessie

We read in the papers that there is a $1 million bounty out for the capture of Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster but despite pointing out the possible illegality of capturing Nessie, we have heard nothing from the promoters of this poorly thought-out scheme. Well, action has to be taken to protect the poor beast so we are writing to the Northern Constabulary seek assurances that Nessie will be given the full protection accorded to her under the law. Money tends to bring out the worst in people and we already have the prospect of an avian flu infection reaching Loch Ness, as people continue to ignore the warning to stop throwing raw chickens into the water to try and bait Nessie.

We well remember the spectacle of the late “Desperate Dan Taylor” who seemed hell-bent on coming here in a home-spun submarine fitted with a harpoon gun to attack Nessie. Thankfully he was put off coming when some of us here started pointing out that we would use every environmental protection law to keep his tub out of our waters. But a million bucks is a lot of cash – so who knows what new horror will set its sights on our poor Nessie’s hide.

$1 million for a good photo of Nessie! news reports that a company is offering $1million for a photo of Nessie, Big Foot or the Abominable Snow Man that leads to its capture. However, the plans could come a cropper as Nessie is officially protected by UK and Scottish Law, specifically The Protection of Animals (Scotland) Act of 1912 and The Veternary Surgeons Act 1966. 

Indeed, when the infamous Jan Sundberg came to capture Nessie to extract a DNA sample in 2000 Inspector John Grierson, animals officer with Northern Constabulary warned that action could be taken against anyone harming, or failing to protect any animal.

He has been reported in the local Press & Journal newspaper saying, “If there is a monster and it is netted then it would be protected against any cruel activity”. It could be argued that to place a wild animal in a net when it could become frantic and thresh about could be considered “cruel…” (more info available here).

Well, we’ll see what happens but I hope all this doesn’t land the company in hot water or encourage any nutters to come up here and cause havoc in their quest to grab the million bucks…

Nessie faces mortal threat from Avian Flu

No Raw Chickens in Loch Ness
No Raw Chickens in Loch Ness

The Curator of Paleontology, American Museum of Natural History says, “[birds are] a branch of dinosaurs, so conveniently enough dinosaurs didn’t go completely extinct. One group, the birds, survived.”

Professor Kettle speaking from his Loch Ness project offices said, “…we really know nothing about Nessie’s biology and I can’t see what we can do to help her.”

This is scary folks. The experts admit that the new flu could wipe out the Loch Ness Monster and maybe there is nothing we can do about it. Read more here.

Plague tests and nuclear bombs under Loch Ness

Folk have long held the suspicion that the government in Westminster doesn’t really care much about what happens up here and that view seems to be confirmed by recent evidence that plague tests were carried out off the coast of Stornoway. We’ve been doing some digging and found that they also had bad plans for Loch Ness too…

The Evil Beneath Loch Ness

We have just watched the movie The Evil Beneath Loch Ness and it has to be called a classic of all time. Shot on location in California, the imitation Scottish accents and extraordinary clothes make this film a “can’t be missed” for all Loch Ness aficionados. 

One thing this film does highlight, correctly in this blog’s opinion, is the possibility for a tunnel linking Loch Ness to the North Sea. While the tunnel may not be open all the time, powerful seismic events in the active earthquake zone under Loch Ness (the Great Glen Fault) ensure that it may open from time to time, thereby letting a monster, like Nessie, enter and leave the loch.

Veteran monster hunter says he’s found something in Loch Ness…

A geriatric self-publicist has made his latest (and hopefully last) trip to Loch Ness to find the monster. Surprise, surprise he’s managed to find some “organic material” (i.e. crud) at the bottom of the loch and apparently it’s being sent away for “DNA analysis” to labs in the UK and USA. Well, he’s got the right to waste his own money!

We get them all here, from the naked Frenchman who sailed out onto Loch Ness on a boat covered with stretch-tight black polythene while beating a drum (to raise Nessie from the depths!) to crazed Swedes (hell-bent on trapping a monster) to lunatic old men who squander their life savings on homespun submarines. And then of course there is the proliferation of heavily bearded local “experts”.

Life here is crazy. This blog will serve as a testament to that!