Author: blogmaster55

by Mikko on Thu 15 Apr 2010 10:29 BST

UK Air Traffic Control has announced that UK air space will be closed to all flights from 12 noon (GMT) 15th April until further notice. No planes will be allowed to take off within the UK or to enter UK air space due to the massive volcanic eruption in Iceland.

If you are flying to or from the UK, including the Loch Ness area you are strongly advised to check with your airline and your airport.

Cryptozoological research in Nessie, the elusive cryptid here, is suspended until the ash alert clears. Keep watching here for further updates.

UK airspace closure news atL: http://news.bbc.co.uk/

by Mikko on Sun 11 Apr 2010 22:02 BST

High temperatures and glorious sunshine continued throughout Sunday as Loch Ness enjoyed warmer weather than London and the med. The temperature hit 20 Celsius (70 Farenheit). The good weather is set to continue all week so it’s a fine time for spotting Nessie.

Check out Loch Ness weather here. Tomorrow Professor Kettle will be updating us with the latest cryptozoological research from his loch-side location. It is hoped that the warm spell will encourage the beast to make one of her rare appearances.

by Mikko on Sat 10 Apr 2010 21:34 BST

The area around Loch Ness enjoyed the sunniest hottest day of the year so far today with temperatures reaching 16 – 17 Celsius (61 – 65 Fahrenheit). Sadly nobody saw Nessie the monster sunbathing but, with good weather predicted for the next few days, Professor Kettle and his Loch Ness project will be out on the water carrying out photo and sonar scans to try to find the cryptid.

He professor said, “we believe that Nessie is a plesiosaur type creature so warm/hot weather is likely to bring her to the surface of the loch. We also look towards the many visitors to the area – both on the shore and out on the water – to keep their eyes peeled for the beast and to alert us immediately of any sightings.”

“Finding Nessie would be a sensation in the world of cryptozoology and beyond”, he added.

by Mikko on Mon 05 Apr 2010 19:40 BST

Nessie, The Loch Ness Monster is as excited as the rest of the country as Britain prepares for a general election – likely to be called by the Prime Minister when he goes to Buckingham palace to ask the queen to dissolve parliament tomorrow. That would mean that Nessie is likely to be seen on 6th May as she makes her way to the local ballot box in Drumnadrochit to cast her vote.

Nessie’s voting intentions are not known but at least this time she will not be humiliated by the Publican Party who were set up by a bunch of pub landlords angry at the cigarette smoking ban in Scotland. They got a local Nessie emporium to let them trundle a large model of our beloved cryptid around the locality – with a huge cigarette hanging out of her mouth. What a disgrace that was.

We’ll have to wait and see who wins the election but whoever it is, life will only get harder for us all here as the government takes our cash to give it to the millionaire bankers. They need ever bigger bonuses for the great work they do wrecking our economy.

by Mikko on Sat 03 Apr 2010 09:53 BST

Well, you’ve taken the plunge and decided to visit Loch Ness to see its monster, Nessie…. What’s worth doing and what isn’t?

I definitely don’t recommend going to either of the Loch Ness exhibitions in the village. If you really feel you must then I’d suggest opting for Nessieland (formerly called “The Original” Loch Ness exhibition). Make sure you have the correct one, it’s on the road to Beauly and Cannich NOT on the A82.

The other exhibition seems to have several names ranging between Loch Ness 2000 and The Loch Ness Exhibition. It’s on the A82 on the right as you arrive in the village from Inverness. I don’t recommend it because it seems only to want to seek to prove that Nessie is a myth and that she doesn’t exist. On the other hand if you only want to know about a few worms that live in the muck at the bottom of the loch and the mutterings of a formally unqualified naturalist on the matter, then this is possibly the right place for you.

Urquhart Castle: it’s a shame they were allowed to build the visitor centre where it is but now that it’s there it has an informative and well presented exhibition and you can get some lovely photos of the loch and the castle. The water by the castle is the deepest part of Loch Ness and the monster is seen there more than anywhere else!

For boat cruises we suggest a visit to Fort Augustus at the west end of Loch Ness.

by Mikko on Wed 31 Mar 2010 10:40 BST

Yesterday history was made in two places: Firstly, the last of the Time Lords materialised in his Tardis at Loch Ness. He arrived with his new assistant who was actually born in Inverness (although we are not sure if it is the Inverness in this dimension or another…)

It was an exciting day as his arrival coincided with a second piece of history making – the first ever successful collision of particles at near light speed in the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) based near Geneva. However, things did not go completely as hoped as neither the long sought Higgs Boson particle (the fundamental part of everything) or Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster made an appearance.

Speaking from his Loch Ness project Professor Kettle said he hoped to ask the Doctor’s views about possibilities that Nessie is actually an inter-dimensional species as this would explain how she is able to travel to and from Loch Ness. “It will be fantastic to speak with somebody with so much knowledge of Galactic Time Travel and may give us a whole new avenue of research. Imagine the possibilities for cryptozoology if we find that Nessie comes through a door from a parallel universe”.

Dr Who is currently in his 11th body. His new assistant, Karen Gillan, is looking forward to showing him around her home city.

by Mikko on Tue 30 Mar 2010 09:58 BST

Highland councillors breathed a huge sigh of relief yesterday as Britain’s sleazy and corrupt “honourable and right honourable” members of Parliament maneuvered to keep their snouts deeply in the tax-payer funded trough.

Sources close to one councillor said, “they are so overcome with joy that they are planning a a private invitation only party at Loch Ness (on expenses of course) to celebrate their victory over ordinary, decent hard working people”.

The councillor was quite unapologetic and continued, “it’s just great news. We only became councillors to get our snouts in the trough and this means we can give ourselves even more perks – more free lunches with expensive champagne, more free hospitality and five star VIP treatment as we travel abroad on first class to see how our foreign counterparts are manging to fiddle their own electorates out of as much money as possible”.

Staff at Professor Kettle’s Loch Ness project were less than impressed. Said one, “we work twenty hours per day for a pittance to try and find Nessie, the area’s elusive cryptid, and it’s sickening to see the corrupt councillors swanning about in expensive cars and generally rubbing our noses in it”. But another councillor dismissed these comments and said, “they are just jealous and sour that we get all the perks while they do all the work.”

by Mikko on Wed 24 Mar 2010 13:37 GMT

Loch Ness and the Highlands have been dealt a body blow as Flybe announced that it will axe the critical Inverness – Edinburgh air route at the end of this week. That’s right, if you want to visit Loch Ness or look for the monster or enjoy the beautiful Highlands you can only get from Edinburgh by a three and a half hour bus ride on the dangerously potholed A9 or on a very expensive and slow train.

This is yet another disaster and we demand something is done about it.