Author: mikkoT

Nessie the Loch Ness Monster hates to say, “I told you so” but she told you so!!! This story in The Scotsman shows that pub sales in Scotland are soaring after the smoking ban with some pubs running out of beer after they ordered less from breweries because they thought their sales would slump!!!

This week Private Eye Magazine provides a shocking new insight into the death of Diana, Princess of Wales and Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster. It reports that “the so-called ‘trunk’ [photo] was, in fact, our beloved Diana’s arm, as she waved desperately to people on the shore, trying to attract their attention before she was kidnapped by the Duke of Edinburgh’s personal submarine”. 

If this is true then it clears up two of the world’s greatest mysteries in one go and Private Eye is to be congratulated for a superb piece of investigative journalism.

Yes folks, it’s official. SEPA, The Scottish Environmental Protection Agency (ha ha), has given permission to its sister quango Historic Scotland to dump massive amounts of raw sewage into Loch Ness from its hideous visitor centre and restaurant extravaganza at Urquhart Castle.

Locals have already seen human waste floating near Urquhart Bay so now we can expect to see and smell a lot more horrors in this sensitive beauty spot as the government defecate on our environment for simple greed. Together with many others we campaigned to get this sewage crime stopped but our views were ignored as the area’s local unelected quangos gave each other the necessary nods and winks.

It doesn’t bode well for the campaign to stop mega pylons running over Scotland but there is a council meeting on this one next month and we’ll keep you posted.

It’s truly awful. So awful in fact that we hope it wins: https://www.lordi.fi/ You heard it here first: Nessie the Loch Ness Monster has been shaken but not stirred by the Finnish Eurovision Song Contest Entry .

Your webmaster will be doing a live chat show with Scotland’s leading palaeontologist Dr. Neil Clark on BBC Radio Sotland on Friday 10 March 2006 at approximately 09.50am GMT (10.50am European time). 

Neil’s the man with the new “Nessie is a circus elephant” theory but I don’t buy it… Hope to see you there!

Worrying times for Nessie the Loch Ness Monster as avian H5N1 flu lands a few short miles away in France. Today we hear that they are butchering tens of

thousands of turkeys and yet no official action has been taken to stop visitors to Loch Ness throwing their unwanted chicken take-ways into the water or the much more serious problem of egg-baiting and raw chicken tossing that the area experiences (see previous blog entries below).

We call on the authorities here to impose a ban on these activities to preserve human health and to save Nessie’s life.

Scientific fact: An old dinosaur would be very vulnerable to flu from its close relatives alive today – the birds.

Nessie the Loch Ness Monster is looking for books by Tim Dinsdale. If any of you have a copy (or know) where to get one that you would like to sell, please contact us. They are hard to find…

The petition sent to the Queen by High Priest of Loch Ness, Kevin Carlyon is gathering support. He has requested that Nessie the Loch Ness Monster is given protection in law and a prominent local figure has now added backing to this campaign.

Nessie the Loch Ness Monster has been besieged lately by various hunters intent on blowing her out of the water, harpooning her or poisoning her home. To help her out, High Priest of White witches, Kevin Carlyon, has petitioned the queen and Tony Blair. You can read more about this gallant plan in The Press and Journal here.

Channel 4 sent up a satellite truck and reporters from London to interview world leading cryptozoologist, Mikko live at Loch Ness on 16th January…and guess what? They got stuck in the mud!!! However, the broadcast was a great success.