by Mikko on Sun 25 Sep 2011 08:48 BST
Our good friend, Kevin Carlyon – High Priest of British White Witches also blessed our Officially Original Loch Ness Webcams.
Good to see you Kevin!
Author: mikkoT
Wind disaster hits Loch Ness region
by Mikko on Sun 05 Sep 2010 06:51 BST
Millions of pounds are being poured into “wind farms” around Loch Ness but wind has dropped off; last winter saw three months of severe cold weather but absolutely no wind – just when it’s energy was most needed.
Professor Kettle believes that the entire wind energy strategy should be scrapped: “We have dependable tidal power so harness that, for the stupid ugly wind turbines”. The professor is usually right and is also worried that Nessie, The Loch Ness Monster, will be harmed. “The wind turbines physically smash up our treasured birds like Golden Eagles but the vibrations they put into the soil may also upset cryptids like the Loch Ness Monster”.
New Loch Ness Live Cam!
by Mikko on Sun 25 Jul 2010 07:07 BST
Well folks, the new and fantastic quality state-of-the-art Loch Ness Monster webcam has now gone live! Hooray!
The view is not correct yet (ed’s note – it’s fine now since we adjusted it) – as unfortunately rain interrupted the final adjustments – but we hope that today (Sunday) will bring some more dry weather and then you will have a full screen view of a vast panoramic chunk of Loch Ness. You can see our current test shots live via our officially original Loch Ness Webcam.
This is all just the start – there is a lot more coming online in our ongoing search for Nessie, the elusive cryptid. With your help from around the world and millions of eyes watching, we might just find her! Stay tuned and keep watching as our new program and new adventure rapidly builds up.
To Nessie fans and cryptozoologists everywhere – we urge you to join the search.
Wave Power from Loch Ness?
by Mikko on Sun 06 Jun 2010 21:07 BST
Plans are going ahead to build a world-beating wave power system on Loch Ness. This monster sized idea may become a big part of Scotland’s energy production. We’ll be keeping a close eye on it all and reporting developments.
Volcanic Ash Clears From Loch Ness
by Mikko on Thu 20 May 2010 08:19 BST
Good news! Volcanic Ash Clears From Loch Ness air space so you can come and see Nessie the monster again!
Lancaster Bomber flight over Loch Ness grounded by volcanic ash
by Mikko on Sun 16 May 2010 15:58 BST
News has just come in that a flight over Loch Ness by a Lancaster Bomber has been grounded due to volcanic ash from Iceland. The flight, due to arrive from Manchester, had been part of plans to commemorate the crash of a WWII bomber in Loch Ness, the remains of which remain 750 feet (250 metres) beneath the waves.
Divers who have entered the deep waters near the crashed site have often surfaced white faced and trembling with fear having seen or felt a strange presence in the water.
Eminent cryptozoologist Professor Kettle believes that what they saw or felt is in fact the cryptid Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster. Speaking from his project HQ he said, “I am very disappointed that the Lancaster Bomber has not been able to make its flight as I was looking forward to an extraordinary day, but I am certain that others in the field of cryptozoology agree with my view that anything strange in the loch is in fact a surviving plesiosaur”.
He continued, “others have strange beliefs including some who think that Elvis Presley and Maralyn Monroe live on the crashed bomber – trapped in some kind of time warp or other dimension – but I think we can safely discount such tittle tattle”.
Loch Ness Monster sightings – the latest news
by Mikko on Wed 28 Apr 2010 09:28 BST
The latest list of sightings of the cryptid Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster, have been declassified and placed online here.
World leading cryptozoologist Professor Kettle commented, “this latest information confirms that sightings are markedly down since Kevin Carlyon, High Priest of British White Witches, visited the loch and placed a spell protecting Nessie from people out to get her.”
“We haven’t got the resources available to analyse Kevin’s impact but we are definitely aware of a more elusive monster in these waters”.
A member of the British Institute of Cryptozoology and Advanced Pseudo Sciences was unavailable for comment.
Loch Ness experts “unmoved” by release of official monster documents
by Mikko on Tue 27 Apr 2010 09:32 BST
Cryptozoologist Professor Kettle has been carrying out an exhaustive search for Nessie, the Loch Ness monster, for the last two decades. He spoke from his Loch Ness project headquarters and said he was “unmoved” by the release of a letter from a former Chief Constable of Police of Inverness-shire Constabulary.
In the letter dated 15th August, 1938 William Fraser makes clear his belief in a “strange fish” in the loch that needs protecting.
“One has to wonder why there was a need for police involvement when it is quite obvious that the plesiosaur population in Loch Ness has survived for millions of years before mankind even existed”.
He added, “I can see there was concern that two people from London – a Mr Kent and a Miss Stirling – wanted to catch the monster ‘dead or alive’ with a harpoon gun but today we are carrying out a passive and careful search with no intention of harming Nessie. The last time I can remember an apparently odd ball search for Nessie was when Swedish monster hunter Jan Sundberg mounted an expedition to find the cryptid in 2000 and was warned by police here not to harm the monster”.
The Chief Constable’s letter can be seen in The National Archives of Scotland.
Loch Ness Monster Lay By Shocker rocks cryptozoology
by Mikko on Fri 23 Apr 2010 22:13 BST
This is the scene (click the attachments link below) that greets visitors and cryptozoologists as they drive to Loch Ness from Inverness. It’s the first lay by that gives a view of the water but it’s all be fenced off because it’s collapsing into the water.
Professor Kettle lashed out from his Loch Ness project: “We need this lay by to be re-opened and re-opened fast so that we get the best possible chance of spotting the unknown monster (or cryptid) living in Loch Ness”.
UK airspace remains mainly closed as Loch Ness monster chaos engulfs region
by Mikko on Tue 20 Apr 2010 09:30 BST
Six days later and Europe is still isolated as British airspace remains closed.
Yes, six days on and Loch Ness is still locked within the UK no fly zone. Limited flights have taken off from Glasgow and Edinburgh but most of the country, including London, remains tightly closed.
“The fear now is that a second bigger volcano will blow”, said eminent cryptozoologist Professor Kettle, “if it goes – and it always has before – then we could see cryptozoology seriously damaged and the hunt for Nessie, the cryptid will likewise suffer”.
The professor has been waiting to launch a group of small planes equipped with the latest air borne sonar equipment developed by NASA but has been refused permission to fly by the authorities. Visibly distressed he said, “this is a disaster because we were lent this fantastic equipment for a short period which has now expired. It might have been the moment we conclusively proved to the whole world that the Loch Ness Monster actually exists and now that moment has gone”.
The Scottish Tourist board was unavailable for comment but is understood to be concerned that hundreds of thousands of visitors maybe stranded as the travel chaos continues.
Anybody trying to reach Scotland or other parts of the UK should check with their airline and departure airport as things are so bad now that the BBC reports that the British Navy is rescuing Brits from France and Spain – many starving and suffering extreme trauma. A sailor on board HMS Ark Royal said, “these people have been in France and Spain for a week more than they planned. They are in a very sorry state and in need of urgent medical attention and psychiatric counselling after their gruelling and horrific time abroad”.