Yes, six days on and Loch Ness is still locked within the UK no fly zone. Limited flights have taken off from Glasgow and Edinburgh but most of the country, including London, remains tightly closed.
“The fear now is that a second bigger volcano will blow”, said eminent cryptozoologist Professor Kettle, “if it goes – and it always has before – then we could see cryptozoology seriously damaged and the hunt for Nessie, the cryptid will likewise suffer”.
The professor has been waiting to launch a group of small planes equipped with the latest air borne sonar equipment developed by NASA but has been refused permission to fly by the authorities. Visibly distressed he said, “this is a disaster because we were lent this fantastic equipment for a short period which has now expired. It might have been the moment we conclusively proved to the whole world that the Loch Ness Monster actually exists and now that moment has gone”.
The Scottish Tourist board was unavailable for comment but is understood to be concerned that hundreds of thousands of visitors maybe stranded as the travel chaos continues.
Anybody trying to reach Scotland or other parts of the UK should check with their airline and departure airport as things are so bad now that the BBC reports that the British Navy is rescuing Brits from France and Spain – many starving and suffering extreme trauma. A sailor on board HMS Ark Royal said, “these people have been in France and Spain for a week more than they planned. They are in a very sorry state and in need of urgent medical attention and psychiatric counselling after their gruelling and horrific time abroad”.