Professor Kettle had been hoping to reveal his plans for cheap and plentiful energy last week but the continued grounding of all flights in the United Kingdom has scuppered his timetable.
Speaking from his Loch Ness project, world expert in cryptozoology Professor Kettle said, “I have been looking for the unknown cryptid Nessie the Loch Ness Monster for twenty years and a lot has changed around here. One of the developments is wind power and a large number of turbines have sprung up all around Loch Ness with even more planned. They are ugly eyesores and totally inefficient when placed on land. During the long cold winter we had no wind – so they generated no power. Useless”.
He continued, “I have designed a new system whereby every passenger plane in the world will be fitted with a windmill that will generate fantastic amounts of electricity as the plane zooms along at over 500 mph (800 km/h). The energy will be stored in on board fuel cells and pushed into the national grid when the plane lands.”
He believes the volcano driven Europe wide grounding of aircraft is a temporary problem and that a prototype of his plan will be in operation later this year. “I am very excited by the development which will mean cheap energy for everyone and also make me extremely rich”.
In the meantime Professor Kettle continues his visual, sonar and hydrophone hunt for the world’s most elusive creature.
Update: Day four of the Icelandic volcano sees UK, Loch Ness and European flights grounded. Weather experts predict that there are unlikely to be any flights all week.