New Loch Ness Live Cam!

by Mikko on Sun 25 Jul 2010 07:07 BST

Well folks, the new and fantastic quality state-of-the-art Loch Ness Monster webcam has now gone live! Hooray!

The view is not correct yet (ed’s note – it’s fine now since we adjusted it) – as unfortunately rain interrupted the final adjustments – but we hope that today (Sunday) will bring some more dry weather and then you will have a full screen view of a vast panoramic chunk of Loch Ness. You can see our current test shots live via our officially original Loch Ness Webcam.

This is all just the start – there is a lot more coming online in our ongoing search for Nessie, the elusive cryptid. With your help from around the world and millions of eyes watching, we might just find her! Stay tuned and keep watching as our new program and new adventure rapidly builds up.

To Nessie fans and cryptozoologists everywhere – we urge you to join the search.

Loch Ness Monster Breathes Again as ash clears

by Mikko on Sun 06 Jun 2010 15:04 BST

Never since the late and unlamented Publican Party took over a large mobile model of our beloved Nessie and trundled it around Loch Ness with a large mocked up cigarette hanging out of its mouth has the Loch Ness Monster ever been so challenged by ash.

On that occasion the pub landlords concerned were seeking votes in a general election to overturn the Scotland -wide ban on smoking in public places. Needless to say their humiliation of Nessie probably helped to ensure they got so few votes that they lost their electoral deposit and they have never been heard from since!

This time it’s volcanic ash from Iceland that’s been threatening to asphyxiate the rare cryptozoological creature (cryptid). It has fallen heavily across the loch creating a kind of sulphur based scum that blocks out light and air. It’s also played havoc with a lot of delicate research equipment that is used to study Nessie and many other rare creatures that dwell deep beneath the water.

Professor Kettle spoke of his grave fears that Nessie would finally be killed:

“We have been working day and night to skim the ash off the water using a flotilla of small boats and large quantities of sphagnum moss, which is plentiful here. This is rolled into tight tubes and tied with netting and then dragged across the loch behind the boats”.

He went on to describe the challenge to local teams of volunteers: “Although we had some twenty five boats we had to cover an area of about 33 square miles and it’s taken two weeks of work around the clock”.

Now the job is finally complete and the water is clean once again. A local fisherman gave his thanks to the team. “I think what they have done is wonderful and I know I speak on behalf of the silent majority when I say that it means a great deal to us to know our monster is safe and we can fish again”.

The fear is that a second volcano five times larger than the first will explode soon – it usually follows the smaller one within a year or two. But Dr. Pott says his team will do more research and perfect their clean-up methods. “Unlike BP in the Gulf of Mexico we intend to be fully prepared for a large scale disaster over here”.

Lancaster Bomber flight over Loch Ness grounded by volcanic ash

by Mikko on Sun 16 May 2010 15:58 BST
News has just come in that a flight over Loch Ness by a Lancaster Bomber has been grounded due to volcanic ash from Iceland. The flight, due to arrive from Manchester, had been part of plans to commemorate the crash of a WWII bomber in Loch Ness, the remains of which remain 750 feet (250 metres) beneath the waves.

Divers who have entered the deep waters near the crashed site have often surfaced white faced and trembling with fear having seen or felt a strange presence in the water.

Eminent cryptozoologist Professor Kettle believes that what they saw or felt is in fact the cryptid Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster. Speaking from his project HQ he said, “I am very disappointed that the Lancaster Bomber has not been able to make its flight as I was looking forward to an extraordinary day, but I am certain that others in the field of cryptozoology agree with my view that anything strange in the loch is in fact a surviving plesiosaur”.

He continued, “others have strange beliefs including some who think that Elvis Presley and Maralyn Monroe live on the crashed bomber – trapped in some kind of time warp or other dimension – but I think we can safely discount such tittle tattle”.

More about a Lancaster Bomber here.

Loch Ness “Top Hat” Plan to Seal Off Volcanic Plume 750ft Beneath Surface

by Mikko on Sat 15 May 2010 19:09 BST

In a plan that looks similar to one being used by oil companies in the Gulf of Mexico, a massive metal “top hat” is being built by oil yard specialists in the Highlands of Scotland to seal off a new and worrying volcanic plume.

Dr. Pott said, “the situation is difficult and dangerous as this lava and sulphur outflow is 750 feet beneath the loch’s pitch black water. If left unchecked it could create millions of litres of sulphuric acid with the potential for wiping out salmon, catfish, eels and of course the world famous cryptid, Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster.”

Other cryptozoological specialists are equally concerned. Professor Kettle warned that the mission was probably a “one off chance to avert disaster”.

Loch Ness has very acidic and dark water due to the massive amount of peat that is washed in from thousands of streams and rivers and cryptozoologists believe that this makes it especially vulnerable to environmental damage.

A specialised ship with enormous lifting gear and submersible robot submarines has been chartered to drop the steel top hat onto the volcanic plume, which will then be covered with over a million tonnes of rock dynamited from the underwater cliffs.

Loch Ness faces more volcanic ash

by Mikko on Sat 15 May 2010 15:46 BST

The Loch Ness area along with the UK – right down to Heathrow and Gatwick – face more travel chaos as further volcanic ash from Iceland heads our way. The MET office said flights could be cancelled or re-directed from Sunday 16th May to Tuesday 18th May so check with your airports and airlines before travelling during that period.