The Officially Original Loch Ness Monster Blog
– insights from Mikko, probably the world's leading cryptozoologist and Nessie expert
Walking into central Inverness in the Scottish Highlands near Loch Ness during what should be a busy lunchtime on a weekday. Coronavirus has turned the Capital of The Highlands of Scotland into a scene resembling a dystopian post apocalyptic nightmare.
Here is a video of the devastation:
In scenes from an apocalyptic movie, Scotland’s Capital of the Highlands, Inverness, is now a ghost city. Hardly any people are to be seen. Shops are boarded up and if a man was pulling a cart up the High Street yelling “bring out your dead” was working, it would be like the Great Plague of the 17th century.
Restaurants, takeaways, pubs, theatres, social venues, public gardens – just about everything is closed and tourists, visitors and locals are being told to stay away and stay at home.
“It’s a disaster for the Loch Ness Research Project for Internet Anomalies“, Professor Kettle told this paper. “We are doing what we can from self-isolation on our carbon fibre floating hub on Loch Ness but we have been told we must stay anchored well away from the land and have supplies sent to us by boat with social distancing maintained at all times. Obviously, if Nessie became infected then this pandemic could become much worse as the interaction of a novel virus with a Jurassic creature could cause unknown mutations”.
Locals are beginning to fear that novel coronavirus (COVID19) may have infected Nessie and possibly killed the creature(s). No credible sightings of the monster have been made since the lock-down of Scotland began a month ago.
“We know that the Loch Ness Monster is a prehistoric creature and therefore shares DNA with modern birds and animals. In fact, birds are descendants of the dinosaurs and that is why recent outbreaks of Avian Flu have also placed the cryptid at risk”, Professor Kettle – leader of the Loch Ness Investigative Research Project said.
The government has passed laws preventing tourists from visiting the Highlands of Scotland until further notice and all non-essential businesses are closed. All we can do is hope that Nessie is safe and will be seen again soon.
Now, more than ever, keep your eyes peeled for her on our Award Winning Loch Ness LiveCams.
In a terrible development, the virus has been confirmed in Drumnadrochit, Loch Ness. A resident working in the hospitality sector unfortunately contracted the virus and has been hospitalised at a high dependency care unit. We wish her and her family a speedy recovery, but it underlines the URGENT APPEAL from Ian Blackford, MP, Kate Forbes MSP, Fergus Ewing MSP and all the main tourism bodies for people NOT TO VISIT THE HIGHALNDS at this unprecedented time. Additional visitors place a huge extra strain on our already very hard pressed National Health Service, which is working tirelessly to protect this fragile community.
Locals love Rose Street car park. It has a beautiful entrance slope up to an elevated parking platform with sweeping views of Homebargains, Iceland and the toy superstore plus of course the unique and award winning Hanging Gardens of Inverness. The lower level provides shelter for winos and druggies with quick easy access to the bus station and local pubs.
Now all this will be destroyed by a new tower block hotel. The residents of the hotel will have the views to themselves and normal folk will just have to find a space miles from the High Street or squeeze into the multi-storey, which is already full at peak periods.
We salute Highland Council and its inspired planning department for wrecking another part of the so-called city.
Everyone has heard of The Hanging Gardens of Babylon but Highland Council is excited to promote a new tourist attract next to its Rose Street Car Park (you’ll have to pay-and-display an exorbitant fee to see them).
It was hoped the local provost would cut a ribbon in front of the press but unfortunately she was unfortunately unavailable for comment. However, a spokesperson for The Silent Majority – a leading and vociferous group within the area – told The Loch Ness Free Press, “this is a major new attraction that rivals anything any other city has to offer. It is also eco-friendly as the vegetation performs a vital role scrubbing CO2 out of the atmosphere”.
Locals were stunned today as a large mountain rescue helicopter hovered above a Loch Ness mountain and a member of crew winched down to rescue and unidentified individual.
“I was searching the area for evidence that Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster, had recently traveled through it”, Loch Ness Research Project Leader Professor Kettle said. “Suddenly this helicopter was very close and we realised something very bad had happened”.
It is unclear what took place but the government has never denied local information that the site is regularly used for secret purposes like the Plague Islands that lie off the Hebrides.
From time to time, strange night lights and radio waves are detectable at this Area51 zone by Loch Ness.
There have been many officially logged UFO reports by locals and visitors to Inveness, Drumnadrochit and Foyers.
The Highlands of Scotland Tourist Board was unavailable for comment.
US Marshals captured the Inverness busker who skipped bail instead of attending Edinburgh High Court a and fled to the USA, allegedly faked his own death and went on the run as a fugitive.
Kim or Kem is wanted for 24 alleged offenses including rapes, child sex assault, lewd behaviour and other serious matters. He was flown back to Scotland on Friday to face justice. Read more in The Inverness Courier.
We had the 2018 Beast from the East but now climatologists from University Of London are warning that the “coldest longest winter for three decades is coming to Scotland.” Our own live weather data is here.
This could be a nightmare scenario as politicians have wasted £billions on mega wind farms that have completely blighted the once pristine Highlands and kill wildlife include rare eagles.
To add insult to injury the turbines sit idle when there is no wind (often the coldest iciest still days) or the shut down when it is too strong (cold winter days). So the UK including Scotland fall back on imported gas and coal plus nuclear generated power from France via the English Channel Interconnector.
The roads are already in a shocking state and healthcare and schools are forecast not to be able to cope.
Read the full shocking story here.
This fight is over: Highland Councillors have thrown money, art, culture and the environment into the sea as they voted 15 – 7 to squander £750,000 of tax payer’s money on their own bigwigs’ vanity project: A Berlin Wall built on wild habitat alongside the once beautiful River Ness.
A spokesman for the campaign to stop this folly told us, “at least when the council leader and provost tell us there is no money for elderly and disabled care, educational needs or road repairs we can shove this wastage down their throats and say ‘we know why, you burned all the money'”.
In an astonishing last minute intervention the Director of Eden Court Theatre in Inverness threw his support in favour of the scheme and accused protesters of standing in the way of cultural progress in Inverness. The sad reality is that Inverness is already losing its Ironworks music venue to be replaced by another grey stock built hotel and Eden Court is the only cultural venue left. Its Director should have fought for any funds that were available for art to go to it – instead of this total “vanity” mess pushed through by apparently artistically challenged councilors who just seem to want a memorial erection in the city centre dedicated to themselves (at any price). £750,000 (and it will probably go over a million as developers rarely finish on time within budget) is much too much to waste on bulldozers scraping away the green sides of the River Ness, destroying its nature to build a druggies’ den that will be filled with rubbish, dog excrement, old needles and graffiti within weeks of opening.
In years gone by we had this cultural and environmental vandalism years ago – with the Urquhart Castle visitor centre at Loch ness (its real monster). The place is so absolutely hideous that every photo of the castle that you see on a card or biscuit tin or the quango’s (Historic Environment Scotland) own marketing material is very carefully angled to exclude the monstrosity. There is precious little left of value in Inverness, it isn’t worth a visitors’ journey and now there will be even less.