US to teach students reality of Loch Ness Monster

In the southern state of Louisiana in the USA, school pupils will be taught that the Loch Ness Monster is real in an attempt to dispute Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution.

Speaking from his Loch Ness side project, Professor Kettle stated, “we are very excited about this development. It shows that people around the world are keen to find out the truth about the prehistoric creature living in this massive murky world”.

Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster, has been seen dozens of times over the years and millions of people have visited the area with the hope of catching a glimpse of the elusive creature. Many cryptozoologists speculate that Nessie is in fact one of a large family of dinosaurs that navigate between the deep oceans and Loch Ness each year.

Drumnadrochit Car Park says NO!

Drumnadrochit Car Park Fines £20,000
Car Park Fine £20,000

Incredibly, the main car park in Drumnadrochit says NO to everyone. Visitors arriving at the tiny Loch Ness side village are shocked to find a sign threatening them upon entry and quoting fines of £5000 – £20,000 (6000 – 24,000 euro) for leaving litter.

A spokesperson for the silent majority told us they agreed with the principle against littering, as all right-minded people would, but “we think it projects a very negative image when all you see as a first greeting is NO in big bright red letters!”

The Highlands of Scotland Tourist Board was unavailable for comment at time of going to press.