Tag: science

World Leading Discovery of Oxygen-Generating Lifeforms under Loch Ness

Professor Plume’s world leading research has uncovered unique lifeforms at the bottom of Loch Ness that generate oxygen. These microorganisms at depths over 200 meters could revolutionize our understanding of deep-water ecosystems and their role in oxygen production.

Dark Oxygen Producers
Dark Oxygen
Producers Under Loch Ness

Plume’s study explores the biodiversity of Loch Ness, focusing on the profundal zone. This has been relatively unexplored due to its depth and challenging conditions.

Using advanced holographic imaging technology, Professor Plume and his team collected samples from various depths. The samples were analyzed for microbial activity and oxygen production.

The research identified several species of microorganisms capable of photosynthesis at these depths and generated significant amounts of oxygen. These findings suggest that deep-water ecosystems may play a more crucial role in global oxygen production than previously thought.

The discovery challenges existing theories about oxygen production (so called “dark oygen”) in freshwater systems and highlights the importance of protecting these unique ecosystems. Further research is needed to understand the full impact of these lifeforms on the environment.

World Leading Loch Ness Research
World Leading Loch Ness Research

Speaking exclusively to the Loch Ness Free Press, Professor Plume said, “Loch Ness is clearly a place of gaesous production of Dark Oxygen through a process similar to methane generation and the hydrothermal vents my leading team discovered in our Loch Ness research project and probe of the water body’s bottom in early 2024.” 

Professor Plume’s research opens new avenues for studying deep-water ecosystems in Loch Ness and other deep water lakes and their contributions to Earth’s oxygen cycle. This discovery highlights the need for continued exploration and conservation of deep freshwater habitats.

Plume added, “If there is a large amount of Dark Oxygen being produced here, it could help explain how unknown creatures such as Nessie, the famous Loch Ness Monster, could survive for long periods without surfacing.

“There are plenty of food sources the murky depths and oxygen completes the circle of what is needed to support life”.

Latest Search for Nessie “is a washout”, according to leading Loch Ness Monster Researcher

Nessie Forces Drone to Retreat At Loch Ness

“Drones, and a hydrophone were going to be used in our attempt to find Nessie this weekend”, Professor Kettle told this Blog. “Unfortunately the weather has been appalling with fog and mist reducing visibility to a few yards and the amount of rain has completely wrecked our world-leading hydrophone deployment”

Professor Kettle was intending to use this weekend as the latest large scale scientific quest to find Nessie but the world famous crytozoological creature does, for now, remain as elusive as ever.

Loch Ness vessels maybe stranded by “biofoul” gluing to the hulls

This is a breaking news story. More soon.

“I’m very concerned that we may experience alien marine microorganisms, plants, algae, or small animals attaching themselves to ships’ hulls navigating through the Caledonian Canal, of which Loch Ness is a major part, from the North Sea or the Atlantic ocean”, Professor Kettle of The

Loch Ness Biofoul
Loch Ness Biofoul

Loch Ness Official Research Programme said.

One of the oldest and most highly respected Nessie monster hunters, Professor Kettle has been maintaining a watching brief on the threats of radiation, Covid, bird flu other toxins that are placing the life of our oldest plesiosaur in great danger. He has promised to continue to analyse core samples.

Avian Flu Loch Ness Lockdown again – fears for Nessie grow.

The UK has been hit by a virulent strain of Avian (bird) flu and the government has ordered all chickens and turkeys to be locked indoors and massive numbers slaughtered to control the pandemic.

Loch Ness Monster Virus Fears

Piles of dead sea birds like gannets lie on Scottish beaches and now Dr. Pott of the Loch Ness Scientific Research Project has warned tourists to stop throwing dead chicken carcasses into Loch Ness. “Even a carton that had chicken nuggets or a sandwich wrapper could carry viruses that kill birds and raptor-related creatures like Nessie, The Loch Ness Monster”.

Avian Flu Chickens

The BBC has reported scientific research that demonstrates the avian flu virus can survive in contaminated water for over a year and reinfect wild creatures. This could be an end-game scenario for areas like the loch and northern Scotland.

You must ACT NOW! Don’t throw food waste, especially dead bird remnants, into Loch Ness or its feeder rivers and canals.

SAVE NESSIE!

Ancient Virus Fears At Loch Ness

The race is on to try and DNA map newly emerged ancient viral strains from bottom coring at Loch Ness.

“I have been worried that vigorous coring and reaming of the loch’s bottom could provide a route for viral agents that have long since disappeared from earth’s biosphere to resurface”, Professor Kettle told this blog. “If we can’t identify and neutralise these things then Covid 19 Coronavirus might look like a walk in the park”.

Ancient Virus Fears

Some of the mutations discovered have now been taken to the US Centre for Extreme Toxins, close to the site of the Manhattan Project. Here they will be sealed into a glass and concrete bio containment lad 400 metres beneath the desert. Robot analysers will be used to identify and index the viruses. If a leak occurs, these mutations are considered so dangerous that a small nuclear weapon will detonate, completely destroying the laboratory and its contents. Safety is now the number one priority after Covid and Ebola have wreaked so much havoc.

“We’re taking every precaution as some of the life forms beneath Loch Ness have proved very dangerous”.

Similar research is going on in Tibetan glaciers – another link to Loch Ness, which was itself formed by a mile thick glacier during the last ice age.

Toxic Cyanobacteria (Blue-Green Algae) May be Thriving in Loch Ness

The terrifying slime is killing water bodies around the world and can paralyse or even kill swimmers. Now traces of it have been discovered on shorelines around Loch Ness.

Toxic Algae in Loch Ness

Speaking exclusively to this blog, a concerned local has hit out at what he describes as “the mother of all cover-ups”. He said, “I approached various agencies concerned with the loch and they all warned me off. One told me that I was “a dangerous nutter” and another said, “beware of dark forces, pal.”

However, the local man said he would continue to pursue this new Loch Ness Monster and vowed, “I won’t keep quiet until highly qualified academics like Professor Kettle investigate and report. If there is something that could cause harm then it needs to be out in the open”.

Unexpected COVID19 Threat To Loch Ness Monster

Visitors to Loch Ness have been warned not to put Nessie’s life in danger by throwing their old Covid19 face masks into the water.

Unbelievably, every year a large number of tourists dump millions of tonnes of rubbish and human waste all around and into the once pristine waters. Now Loch Ness Research Project Coordinator, Umor Raarbish has gone on the offensive: “We’ve put hidden surveillance equipment at all main areas frequented by visitors and we can monitor their littering in real time”

“Fines of up to £20,000 can be levied against any tourist who makes a mess and our message is simple: “we want your business but not a bad attitude so take your mess with you”.

Loch Ness Corona Virus Horror

Professor Kettle, who runs the scientific investigation into the Loch Ness Monster has previously warned about the dangers of avian flu killing Nessie. Dinosaurs are related to birds and Covid is another flu-like virus that puts the multi million year old plesiosaur in grave danger.

The Highlands of Scotland Tourist Board was unavailable at time of going to press.

Robot Submarines discover Loch Ness “monster” bottom feeders in Nessie’s trenches

Loch Ness Submarine Drone

A fleet of state-of-the-art micro submarines has been plying the dark waters of Loch Ness in a scientific quest to capture DNA and other fragments from the aquatic plesiosaur.

Speaking exclusively to this Blog, Professor Theo Vindelwagen of the California Institute of Marine Supply Conservation said, “we are using laser RADAR submarines that are controlled by a Mother Ship on the surface of the loch. The early images are incredible – several plesiosaur shapes can be seen in submarine “herds” feeding at the bottom of the deepest areas. That’s new and proves that we have many monsters in this unique body of water”.

“Some of your readers may be familiar with the famous submarine that belongs to the British Antarctic Survey, “Boaty Mc. Boat Face”. Our drone subs are technologically superior and we have 35 units now roaming Loch Ness.”

The survey is expected to take a few more days and we look forward to publishing the results as they are created by the AI code. You can watch progress of expeditions via our Loch Ness live stream.

Loch Ness Live Cam is back in full operation – streaming to you!

We are delighted to inform everyone that the Officially Original Loch Ness Monster Nessie Live Cam is back and streaming live. Due to Covid19 we suffered considerable disruption and are thankful for all your messages of support. We have had a limited service for awhile but now repairs have been finished, so please: Enjoy hunting for Nessie and viewing the sheep in the paddock!

A little something to take your mind off the virus.