The UK has been hit by a virulent strain of Avian (bird) flu and the government has ordered all chickens and turkeys to be locked indoors and massive numbers slaughtered to control the pandemic.
Piles of dead sea birds like gannets lie on Scottish beaches and now Dr. Pott of the Loch Ness Scientific Research Project has warned tourists to stop throwing dead chicken carcasses into Loch Ness. “Even a carton that had chicken nuggets or a sandwich wrapper could carry viruses that kill birds and raptor-related creatures like Nessie, The Loch Ness Monster”.
The race is on to try and DNA map newly emerged ancient viral strains from bottom coring at Loch Ness.
“I have been worried that vigorous coring and reaming of the loch’s bottom could provide a route for viral agents that have long since disappeared from earth’s biosphere to resurface”, Professor Kettle told this blog. “If we can’t identify and neutralise these things then Covid 19 Coronavirus might look like a walk in the park”.
Some of the mutations discovered have now been taken to the US Centre for Extreme Toxins, close to the site of the Manhattan Project. Here they will be sealed into a glass and concrete bio containment lad 400 metres beneath the desert. Robot analysers will be used to identify and index the viruses. If a leak occurs, these mutations are considered so dangerous that a small nuclear weapon will detonate, completely destroying the laboratory and its contents. Safety is now the number one priority after Covid and Ebola have wreaked so much havoc.
“We’re taking every precaution as some of the life forms beneath Loch Ness have proved very dangerous”.
In a terrible development, the virus has been confirmed in Drumnadrochit, Loch Ness. A resident working in the hospitality sector unfortunately contracted the virus and has been hospitalised at a high dependency care unit. We wish her and her family a speedy recovery, but it underlines the URGENT APPEAL from Ian Blackford, MP, Kate Forbes MSP, Fergus Ewing MSP and all the main tourism bodies for people NOT TO VISIT THE HIGHALNDS at this unprecedented time. Additional visitors place a huge extra strain on our already very hard pressed National Health Service, which is working tirelessly to protect this fragile community.