New DNA Research Finds No Trace of Loch Ness Monster

In a startling public statement, Loch Ness Researchers have concluded that months of painstaking analysis of water from Loch Ness have yielded absolutely no evidence of un-identified DNA.

“We have been looking for deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA) and comparing it against a database of known aquatic life forms in Loch Ness”, Professor Kettle explained to the press.

“Unfortunately we have not been successful but this does not prove that Nessie does not exist.” You can clearly see here in this video from The Nessie On The Net! Loch Ness Live Cams and we will continue the hunt.

Word Exclusive – Two Nessies Captured on Our Loch Ness Live Cams!

Read more in The Sun newspaper and you can continually hunt live for the Loch Ness Monster here.

New App Launched to Track Tick Bites and Lyme Disease in the Highlands and Around Loch Ness

A new App has been launched in the Highlands today to track killer tick bites. These terrifying critters stalk the shores of Loch Ness and the Highlands of Scotland and some of them carry the debilitating Lyme Disease. So far, tick borne encephalitis has not been recorded in a human in the area – just as well as it is widespread in other parts of the world and can be fatal (there is no cure).

Ticks Can Cause Lyme Disease

The new App will hopefully help fight against Lyme Disease and prevent the deadlier virus ever entering Scotland. Search for LymeApp on your mobile device to download the free tool.

If you suspect yo have an infected tick bite you should see a doctor without delay.

  • Ticks that may cause Lyme disease are found all over the UK
  • High-risk areas include grassy and wooded areas in southern England and the Scottish Highlands
  • To reduce the risk of being bitten, cover your skin, tuck your trousers into your socks, use insect repellent and stick to paths
  • If you are bitten, remove the tick with fine-tipped tweezers or a tick-removal tool found in chemists
  • Clean the bite with antiseptic or soap and water
  • The risk of getting ill is low as only a small number of ticks are infected with the bacteria that cause Lyme disease
  • You don’t need to do anything else unless you become unwell
  • You should go to your GP if you’ve been bitten by a tick or visited an area in the past month where infected ticks are found and you get flu-like symptoms or a circular red rash
  • These symptoms can include feeling hot and shivery, headaches, aching muscles or feeling sick

Source: NHS Choices

Huge Stooshie At Highland Council Over “Art” Fiasco

Inverness Councillor Ron MacWilliam has been spearheading The People’s Rebellion against Highland Council’s ludicrous and profligate wastage of public funds (£300,000 so far – and nothing has even been constructed yet!)

River Ness - about to be lined with a Berlin Wall
River Ness – about to be lined with a Berlin Wall

Now MacWilliam has reportedly been summoned for a dressing down and told to personally attend to apologise to the Highland Council bosses angry at his defiance of their diktats and refusal to be “muzzled”.

He was on the front page of The Inverness Courier this week and both he and fellow champions against The Wall have used The Freedom of Information Act to successfully crowbar the numbers showing true scale of the waste of public money out of the council (already spent and gone) because it is determined to build Inverness’s very own Cold War Era Berlin Wall alongside the (currently) beautiful River Ness. Photo it now folks, soon it will be a concrete catastrophe.

Many of us believe this is a disgusting waste of money by a local authority that is currently chopping and cutting every budget including elderly and vulnerable persons’ care and even charging 50p for use of toilets. But of course The River Ness Mess is a Vanity Project and nothing pushes big wigs’ buttons like the thought of a “legacy” – in this case a massive erection in the so called city centre, whatever the cost and loss to its citizens and the environment. What a way to literally pour The Common Good Fund into the sea. The councillors and officers behind it owe the people of Inverness and the Highlands an apology and should hang their heads in shame, while also cancelling this River Ness Mess.

Sort out Inverness
Sort out the mess first, Highland Council

We are proudly one hundred percent behind Councilor Ron MacWilliam and the group fighting this disaster. The council’s River Ness Mess is not art, it’s a blot on the landscape that will harm fragile wildlife and the environment and be nothing more than another litter and graffiti strewn cesspit for druggies and winos – and Inverness already has those in spades.

Dangerous Toxic Algal Bloom Fears For Loch Ness

After Environmental Health officials posted official warning about swimming or consuming dangerous toxic water from Loch Watten, fears have spread that Loch Ness may soon be at risk too.

Toxic Algal Infestation

Professor Kettle of The Loch Ness Internet Research Project said, “this type of algal infestation is something we constantly guard against. It’s nasty and it’s dangerous and could pose a serious risk to locals, visitors and Nessie, The Loch Ness Monster”.

The official warning is available online.

Speculation mounts that a government helicopter searched for land based Loch Ness Monster today

Helicopter searches for Loch Ness Monster

Locals were stunned today when the government dispatched a highly sophisticated helicopter to search for Nessie, the ever elusive Loch Ness Monster. Exclusive photographs have been provided to this Blog showing an extensive search after a hill walker reported seeing “something strange but massive lumbering over rocks” on the mountain above Loch Ness.

An un-named spokesman for HM Search & Rescue said “obviously we are aware that Nessie is a Protected Species under the Animal Welfare Act and we have a duty to ensure she is safe and not in danger of capture or injury by nefarious individuals or trophy hunters. Accordingly we dispatched and Air & Sea Search & Rescue helicopter with the latest location technology.”

The spokesman added, “on this occasion we did not locate The Loch Ness Monster but were able to secure the area and make sure the beast was safe. Since the famous Spicer Sighting of 1936 Nessie has often been seen on land and we regularly patrol the area in support of Professor Kettle’s Loch Ness Internet Research Project and other local authorities”.

Inverness Street Pedlar Who Swam Loch Ness Arrested in USA After Skipping Bail on Scottish Alleged Rape Charges – now faces extradition

Kim Vincent Avis
Inverness fugitive arrested in USA

An Inverness street pedlar known locally as Kim Gordon aka Kim Avis aka Kem Aivs Gordon etc. was due in the High Court in Edinburgh earlier this year but fled the country instead and faked his own death in California. He swam Loch Ness (allegedly for charity) and was often seen selling knick knacks outside Marks & Spencer in the High Street. Some at Highland Council (unavailable for comment at time of going to press) called him a “fine ambassador for the city”.

How things change: Now US Marshals working with Interpol, the Scottish authorities and the US police were able to locate and arrest him at a cheap motel in Colorado – over a thousand miles from where he disappeared. He was allegedly trying to d a runner to Mexico.

Kim Gordon is now due to appear in Denver Courthouse on 12th August to face extradition back to Scotland where the rap sheet has some 24 charges including alleged rapes and sexual assault, at least one involving a child. Other charges include breach of the peace.

Read the full story here in The Sun.

Highlands of Scotland battered by thunderstorms and flooding

Floods, transport chaos and power cuts

It’s been going on for days now and shows no immediate sign of abating: Loch Ness, The Great Glen Way and the wider Highlands are being decimated by terrifying thunderstorms and floods with wide spread power loss, train and bus cancellations and chaos.

A Loch Ness Research Weather Station

Fortunately, academics at at The Loch Ness Research and Investigation Project have been closely monitoring the situation.

They use a myriad of specialist data collection methods based around cutting edge weather instrumentation and you can monitor real time data from one of their centres here.