mikkoT - The Officially Original Loch Ness Monster Blog

Killer Wasps Storm Loch Ness in Climate Change Nightmare

A huge number of wasp nests have been found all around Loch Ness as temperatures have soared to record breaking levels. The wasps are larger than average and very aggressive so people have been warned to keep their distance.

Speaking to The Loch Ness Free Press, Milot Stamervich on holiday from Bulgaria said, “we were walking down by the Loch Ness looking for Nessie and suddenly saw a large black object about ten or twenty metres out over the water. I was reaching for my phone to video it for the newspapers but then my wife screamed, “it’s buzzing towards us. Oh my God, it’s wasps”. So we just started running away”.

The area’s leading academic expert, Professor Kettle, says “people need to be careful. If you see a nest or some wasps in a group then get out of the area quickly and safely. We don’t want to see anybody injured by this nightmare and can only hope that winter weather will destroy the threat.”

Rising water temperatures in Loch Ness have already led to the discovery of Deadly Dinoflagellates with swimmers warned to take special care, so this new discovery proves that the famous loch has more than one monster lurking and stalking its waters.

The Highlands of Scotland Tourist Board was unavailable for comment.

Daily Mail: “Man claims to have filmed TWO 20ft Loch Ness monsters swimming together in Scotland” (on our LiveCams!)

You can read the full story and see the video here.

Loch Ness Villagers’ Excitement That Old Shop Is Likely to Remain As A Shrine To The Past

There was a lot of concern that one of the finest buildings in Drumnadrochit, the beautiful former supermarket and takeaway / restaurant would go for good since Scotmid move into a plush bespoke new building on the opposite side of the road.

But, great news! It’s on the market as a renovation project so hopefully a lick of paint will see it shine again in all its glory!

If you want to buy this unique opportunity check out the details here.

President Gary Campbell’s Loch Ness Lecture In Inverness

Gary's Town House Lecture — Gary’s Town House Lecture

The old Townhouse in Inverness has recently been completely refurbished and is now one of the finest buildings in the Highland capital. Today, the President Of The Official Loch Ness Monster Fan Club gave a sell-out public lecture on the Nessie and the myths and legends of Inverness and its surroundings.

Drumnadrochit Village Shop Closes Doors & The New Shop Opens

It’s an eyesore that once came top in a list of all the things the locals wanted doing in the area: “#1. Demolishing the carbuncle”.

But it has done sterling service for many decades and we salute its passing. The facilities it provided were essential for the village but there is no getting around the fact, it is absolutely hideous.

We salute the old shop but now it’s time for a brave new world with a shop complete with cafe, laptop and smartphone charging, a bakery, hot dogs and even an ice cream machine. You can self scan your check-out, it has it all!

Any day now we are promising it will be razed to the ground and it has already been replaced by a spanking brand new architect designed green Scotmid across the road.

Countdown to Drumnadrochit’s New Supermarket T-5 Days

There is no doubt that it’s served the village well, but the design of the old village shop has divided the community with many calling for its swift demolition and others pleading for it to be retained as a monument to Brutalist architecture.

Whatever your view, there is little doubt that the bespoke new premises will offer a much more modern and vibrant shopping experience. The futuristic environmental new Scotmid store is due to open in five day’s time (on Friday 25th January).

We WON! Inverness Tilting Pier Ditched

Councilors finally caved in to public pressure from over two thousand signatories of this petition, this website and its sister site Nessie on the Net and many others and Highland Council Arts Committee ditched the £360,000 fiasco – known locally as The Dipping Bridge.

This was a vanity project bar none, heavily promoted – indeed pushed – in the face of almost total public opposition by Inverness Provost Helen Carmichael. This individual appears to have nothing but contempt for her electorate and dismisses all the carefully submitted arguments against this, her latest proposed waste of scare resources, as the whinings of “a noisy small minority”. Well, we are the majority and you can wear all the gold chains of office and ermine that have been lifted from our Common Good Fund but we are going to keep biting at Carmichael’s heels until she does the decent thing and RESIGNS. Inverness has a Provost who must go.

Today is a victory against Provost Carmichael, Councilor Doubting Thomas and many others but we must all remain vigilant and stand in the way of their next disaster.

Open Day At the New Drumnadrochit Health Centre, Loch Ness

Villagers got a chance for a look behind the scenes as the finishing touches are put to our spanking brand new Drumnadrochit Health Centre. It is a wonderful example of fine architecture and design – from the heated wooden floors to the low energy LED lighting, spacious naturally lit rooms and a biomass boiler heating system.

The new centre has more than enough space to cope with the existing population of Drumnadrochit, Lewiston, Milton and the outlying communities. However, plans are already on the drawing board for increased housing at the village and this new facility has a full length roof space, pre-trussed and ready to be easily converted into more accommodation as needed.

Here is a link to our old Surgery. It has served the community very well over many years but is now just too small with no possibility for incorporating modern medical advances. But we are all more than grateful for its years of good service.

If you are interested to read more about the biomass heating system, here is a link to an article with more photos inside the boiler house and the centre.

Also, while the ground was being dug in preparation for the new health centre, archaeologists uncovered a Bronze Age Cist Burial Site. You can read about that amazing discovery here.

Many thanks – as ever – to Nessie on the Net, Scotland’s Top Award Winning Loch Ness Monster Website – for hosting this blog. It’s “More Than Monstrous!” – www.lochness.co.uk

Pogonophobiacs Warned to Steer Clear of Loch Ness

Bearded Loch Ness Researchers — Bearded hunter warning

The BBC’s Jeremy Paxman has identified pogonophobia as a cause for concern and Loch Ness is reeling as the area is well known to be full of sad and vain bearded old men.

Clean shaven Professor Kettle spoke to us from his Loch Ness project HQ and warned visitors who suffer from pogonophobia (the fear of beards) to keep away or risk feeling queasy. “We seem to buck the UK trend when it comes to facial hair. Fortunately the women generally steer clear of beards around the loch but many monster specimens of the male denomination do exist. Some extreme examples are quite wild and unwieldy and could put an unwary tourist right off their tea. Our research reinforces the view that Neanderthal Man lived in peat bogs around Loch Ness and possibly still does.”

Dr. Pott added, “Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster, is thought to be beardless and it’s heartening that the next generation have pretty much put beards to one side in favour of more sensible things like getting themselves an education. Cryptozoologists get a bad press, often because they aren’t formally qualified and cryptozoology deserves better”.

Amazon Pacu – flesh eating fish the real Loch Ness Monster?

In a worrying new development, Amazon Pacu ball chomping fish have been attacking swimmers off the coast of Sweden and are now feared to be heading for Loch Ness.

The critters are cousins of piranhas and can grow large: 90 centimetres long and weighing up to 25 kgs. They are nicknamed “ball cutter” for frequent attacks on the male genitalia.

Speaking exclusively to us, eminent Professor Kettle said, “obviously my Loch Ness research project is now closely monitoring the situation and we’d advise everyone not to totally panic – but do take extra care to always wear full body swimsuits in Loch Ness and be on the look out for these fish. We want to hear from anyone who encounters them or sees suspicious activity via our sister resource site, Nessie on the Net. Please email me at Loch Ness HQ.”

Another long established and world famous Loch Ness researcher, Dr. Pott added, “needless to say, the fish have apparently made the enormous journey from the Amazon to Sweden. It’s only a comparatively short hop for them into the very hospitable nutrient and food rich waters of Loch Ness.”

Speaking about the Swedish incidents, an expert for the Danish Museum told the UK’s Daily Telegraph newspaper “The pacu is not normally dangerous to people but it has quite a serious bite, there have been incidents in other countries, such as Papua New Guinea where some men have had their testicles bitten off.”

There is more on the terrifying fish that are rampaging Sweden in the Daily Telegraph newspaper. How will cryptid Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster, cope with this latest amazing phenomena? Our world leading cryptozoologists and experts will keep you posted as events unfold on the ground and in the deep and murky water.