nessie - The Officially Original Loch Ness Monster Blog

Stunning Loch Ness Helicopter Rescue

Locals were stunned today as a large mountain rescue helicopter hovered above a Loch Ness mountain and a member of crew winched down to rescue and unidentified individual.

“I was searching the area for evidence that Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster, had recently traveled through it”, Loch Ness Research Project Leader Professor Kettle said. “Suddenly this helicopter was very close and we realised something very bad had happened”.

It is unclear what took place but the government has never denied local information that the site is regularly used for secret purposes like the Plague Islands that lie off the Hebrides.

From time to time, strange night lights and radio waves are detectable at this Area51 zone by Loch Ness.

There have been many officially logged UFO reports by locals and visitors to Inveness, Drumnadrochit and Foyers.

The Highlands of Scotland Tourist Board was unavailable for comment.

Loch Ness Swimmer and Alleged Rapist, Kim Avis (aka Kim Gordon) Extradited Back to Scotland

US Marshals captured the Inverness busker who skipped bail instead of attending Edinburgh High Court a and fled to the USA, allegedly faked his own death and went on the run as a fugitive.

Kim or Kem is wanted for 24 alleged offenses including rapes, child sex assault, lewd behaviour and other serious matters. He was flown back to Scotland on Friday to face justice. Read more in The Inverness Courier.

Loch Ness and Scotland Warned: “Worst Winter For 30 Years Is Coming”

We had the 2018 Beast from the East but now climatologists from University Of London are warning that the “coldest longest winter for three decades is coming to Scotland.” Our own live weather data is here.

This could be a nightmare scenario as politicians have wasted £billions on mega wind farms that have completely blighted the once pristine Highlands and kill wildlife include rare eagles.

To add insult to injury the turbines sit idle when there is no wind (often the coldest iciest still days) or the shut down when it is too strong (cold winter days). So the UK including Scotland fall back on imported gas and coal plus nuclear generated power from France via the English Channel Interconnector.

The roads are already in a shocking state and healthcare and schools are forecast not to be able to cope.

Read the full shocking story here.

New DNA Research Finds No Trace of Loch Ness Monster

In a startling public statement, Loch Ness Researchers have concluded that months of painstaking analysis of water from Loch Ness have yielded absolutely no evidence of un-identified DNA.

“We have been looking for deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA) and comparing it against a database of known aquatic life forms in Loch Ness”, Professor Kettle explained to the press.

“Unfortunately we have not been successful but this does not prove that Nessie does not exist.” You can clearly see here in this video from The Nessie On The Net! Loch Ness Live Cams and we will continue the hunt.

Word Exclusive – Two Nessies Captured on Our Loch Ness Live Cams!

Read more in The Sun newspaper and you can continually hunt live for the Loch Ness Monster here.

New App Launched to Track Tick Bites and Lyme Disease in the Highlands and Around Loch Ness

A new App has been launched in the Highlands today to track killer tick bites. These terrifying critters stalk the shores of Loch Ness and the Highlands of Scotland and some of them carry the debilitating Lyme Disease. So far, tick borne encephalitis has not been recorded in a human in the area – just as well as it is widespread in other parts of the world and can be fatal (there is no cure).

The new App will hopefully help fight against Lyme Disease and prevent the deadlier virus ever entering Scotland. Search for LymeApp on your mobile device to download the free tool.

If you suspect yo have an infected tick bite you should see a doctor without delay.

Ticks that may cause Lyme disease are found all over the UK
High-risk areas include grassy and wooded areas in southern England and the Scottish Highlands
To reduce the risk of being bitten, cover your skin, tuck your trousers into your socks, use insect repellent and stick to paths
If you are bitten, remove the tick with fine-tipped tweezers or a tick-removal tool found in chemists
Clean the bite with antiseptic or soap and water
The risk of getting ill is low as only a small number of ticks are infected with the bacteria that cause Lyme disease
You don’t need to do anything else unless you become unwell
You should go to your GP if you’ve been bitten by a tick or visited an area in the past month where infected ticks are found and you get flu-like symptoms or a circular red rash
These symptoms can include feeling hot and shivery, headaches, aching muscles or feeling sick

Source: NHS Choices

Calls For Councilors to Resign Over River Ness Mess

As Highland Council struggles to care for its elderly, half a million pounds has been wasted on a pitiful new concrete mess that resembles a section of the old Berlin Wall planned to be sited alongside the beautiful River Ness.

Highland Council art – not built yet and £500,000 already spent

Some members of the public have called on the provost and other councilors to resign as they have been key actors in the secretive cabal of Highland councilors determined to push through their vanity project in the face of public outrage.

One told this blog, “the days of ‘if they don’t have bread let them eat cake’ are long over and we have old people freezing and dying and a broken care system but the figurehead of Highland Council seems to think she in Marie-Antoinette”.

Highland Council had to be FORCED by law to reveal the scale of its profligacy as the local campaign group, OpenNess, which is pledged to fight the provost’s nightmarish mess had to use The Freedom Of Information Act to obtain the figures relating to the secretive and vast wastage of public money.

You can read more about this awful tale of arrogance and indifference to the lives of Highlanders in the Inverness Courier.

Speculation mounts that a government helicopter searched for land based Loch Ness Monster today

Helicopter searches for Loch Ness Monster

Locals were stunned today when the government dispatched a highly sophisticated helicopter to search for Nessie, the ever elusive Loch Ness Monster. Exclusive photographs have been provided to this Blog showing an extensive search after a hill walker reported seeing “something strange but massive lumbering over rocks” on the mountain above Loch Ness.

An un-named spokesman for HM Search & Rescue said “obviously we are aware that Nessie is a Protected Species under the Animal Welfare Act and we have a duty to ensure she is safe and not in danger of capture or injury by nefarious individuals or trophy hunters. Accordingly we dispatched and Air & Sea Search & Rescue helicopter with the latest location technology.”

The spokesman added, “on this occasion we did not locate The Loch Ness Monster but were able to secure the area and make sure the beast was safe. Since the famous Spicer Sighting of 1936 Nessie has often been seen on land and we regularly patrol the area in support of Professor Kettle’s Loch Ness Internet Research Project and other local authorities”.

Nice new photo of Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster?

There is a nice new photo in today’s Daily Mail of a possible Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster. Resident expert Professor Kettle isn’t sure though: “It does look very much like a boat wake. The weird standing waves and undersea currents in Loch Ness often cause things that look strange to folk who come across them for the first time.”

However, dedicated monster hunter Mikko, of Nessie on the Net! and the Loch Ness Live Cams said, “it is clearly a creature swimming just below the surface of the loch. I’ve seen this time and again and it adds to the irrefutable proof that a cryptid (unidentified cryptozoological beast) is living in Loch Ness.”

Tell us what you think of the photos, you can see them in today’s Daily Mail newspaper.

The Real Loch Ness Monsters – Fort Augustus Abbey

Over twenty possible victims of the Fort Augustus Abbey and Carlekemp School sexual abuse scandals have been identified by police as they research terrible details of what looks like the story of the Real Monsters of Loch Ness.

There is more about this in the Inverness Courier. Specialist police teams are investigation allegations of sex abuse by some monks dating back to the 1970s.

Pogonophobiacs Warned to Steer Clear of Loch Ness

Bearded Loch Ness Researchers — Bearded hunter warning

The BBC’s Jeremy Paxman has identified pogonophobia as a cause for concern and Loch Ness is reeling as the area is well known to be full of sad and vain bearded old men.

Clean shaven Professor Kettle spoke to us from his Loch Ness project HQ and warned visitors who suffer from pogonophobia (the fear of beards) to keep away or risk feeling queasy. “We seem to buck the UK trend when it comes to facial hair. Fortunately the women generally steer clear of beards around the loch but many monster specimens of the male denomination do exist. Some extreme examples are quite wild and unwieldy and could put an unwary tourist right off their tea. Our research reinforces the view that Neanderthal Man lived in peat bogs around Loch Ness and possibly still does.”

Dr. Pott added, “Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster, is thought to be beardless and it’s heartening that the next generation have pretty much put beards to one side in favour of more sensible things like getting themselves an education. Cryptozoologists get a bad press, often because they aren’t formally qualified and cryptozoology deserves better”.