by Mikko on Wed 28 Apr 2010 09:28 BST
The latest list of sightings of the cryptid Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster, have been declassified and placed online here.
World leading cryptozoologist Professor Kettle commented, “this latest information confirms that sightings are markedly down since Kevin Carlyon, High Priest of British White Witches, visited the loch and placed a spell protecting Nessie from people out to get her.”
“We haven’t got the resources available to analyse Kevin’s impact but we are definitely aware of a more elusive monster in these waters”.
A member of the British Institute of Cryptozoology and Advanced Pseudo Sciences was unavailable for comment.